Fall and To-Dos

I have a knack for welcoming in September with a pile of deferred tasks and an overstuffed list. This year is no exception.

When I do big things, I like to do them all at once. Chris and I got married the week we both started graduate school and we have since then attempted handfuls of insane things all at once. It’s a particular form of masochism that’s steeped in the psyche of the Ambitious Millennial, especially those of us who spent years in gifted programs. And it’s a habit that dies hard. I say yes to too many things, and they all come home to roost, usually in early September.

I’m not exactly immune to the pressure, but I am coming to regret it more and more each time. This year, we’ve--mostly I’ve, Chris does a better job compartmentalizing--decided to fly back to Europe, visit Amsterdam with two jet-lagged kids, take an early train back to Berlin, move into a new 6th floor walkup apartment, launch an online class, write a fellowship proposal, and interview for a new job, all in the two weeks before the kids are back in school. We started this mad sprint with a chaotic and frustrating move-out of our old place before flying across the world after a KiTa summer party, so it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster. To top it off, I’m waiting on a visa appointment and the concept of my kids--especially my busy-body daughter--just quietly watching TV while I work is abjectly laughable. I’m managing the best I can, this too shall pass.

I might actually be pretty bad at relaxing. I spent a month on vacation, visiting family and friends and lounging by lakes. I ate good food, I left my phone behind, and I thought about what I want and need from the world. I didn’t agree to all of these things in the past weeks, but I did let them find me on the flip side of vacation, and not for a lack of planning ahead as best I could.

That said, and with the knowledge that it either gets done or it falls apart, I’ve got my work cut out for me in the next few weeks.

Thankfully it’s early September, and the productive buzz of a world beginning the transition from unbridled growth to the hunkering of winter is flowing. I’ve always loved the Back to School days when the leaves start to sound dry and the evenings carry a foretaste of the chill. Watching students and children embark on new school years, fresh backpacks and sharpened pencils, makes me feel like everything’s possible. Maybe it’s why I bite off so much more than I expect to this time of year--my wedding anniversary is in 6 days afterall--I feel ripe for the challenge after a long summer. Full to the brim with the sweetness of the sunshine, like the apples on the trees. Ready to nourish new things.

So here I go, into September with gusto and a commitment not to burn too hard before the fall of autumn. Here’s to luck and a summer well harvested!